Friday, July 21, 2006
It's been a long November....
Just saw a couple movies from my Blockbuster queue and if you like weird movies that make you wonder if it is even possible, much less desirable to understand what is going on, these movies are for you. I’m not going to do a full review, just because I don’t have the energy and I’m not sure I could do it without giving too much away. But, here’s a bit of info on a couple movies in case you’re wondering what to add to your queue....or not.
The Machinist.
This movie stars an emaciated Christian Bale as a guy who can’t sleep and pays the price of extended insomnia. Bale (the most recent Batman) is an actor I really like and so I thought I would check this movie out. He starved himself for this role and became freakishly thin, I mean, can see every bone, think he’s going to just break in half, makes Ally McBeal look like Rosanne kind of skinny. It is hard to look at and really the most memorable thing by far about the movie.
Bale plays a guy who can’t sleep and is literally wasting away as a result. To make matters worse he begins to crumble mentally as he can’t tell if he is seeing things or at the center of a conspiracy. The movie leads the audience down the same path of confusion as you wonder what is real and what is imagined while desperately wanting to feed this poor guy. The movie is dark, intense and disturbing. The ending actually fairly well redeems an otherwise unpleasant movie, but I’m not ready to call it “good.” On my scale I think I will give it a 6.5, which doesn’t actually exist on my scale, but it is better than your typical 6, but probably not quite a 7…I think. If you like small, dark psychological thrillers, it is worth renting, but not with children. Take that R rating very seriously.
November
If you watch The Machinist, but decide it was really too light and “normal” for you, check out November. Courtney Cox plays a woman trying to put the pieces together to understand her husband’s shooting in a convenient store robbery.
As an aside, I never got why so many people thought Jennifer Anniston was the “hot one” on friends. She is not even in the same league as Cox. I don’t get this one at all. But anyway…
This movie is one of the most vague, difficult to follow, impressionistic movies I have ever seen (at least that was made by Americans in America). If you get to the end of this movie and understand exactly what is going on, my hat’s off to you, but I sure didn’t get there. That said, the movie was fairly captivating to watch. Visually, it grabs and keeps your attention with changes in color, lighting, lenses, perspective, etc. And it presents just enough of the story to make you really want to know what on earth is going on, or to break the dvd up into little tiny pieces and mail them with a strongly worded letter expressing your displeasure to the director. I sort of felt both at the same time for most of this movie.
The movie is told in 3 acts and when you get to the beginning of the second act, the presented reality is so altered, that you really have nothing but pure speculation to help you figure out what is going on. Then when you move to the 3rd act, you will likely become angry as you realize that even the bits you thought you understood, you really didn’t. It was at this point while I was watching that I was very thankful I had decided to watch this one without my lovely wife Tanya. She wouldn’t have liked this movie even before the final act, but she might have kept watching, because there was something engrossing about it and then she would have become angry and maybe violent and frankly, I couldn’t blame her.
Then the movie ended and I was pretty lost. The ending provides some “real” answers finally, but it doesn’t really help you understand little details like the chronology of the story or even what actually happened. I was so baffled, that I watched the entire movie again with the director’s commentary on, foolishly forfeiting sleep in hopes of finding out what I had just invested the last 2 (and then 4) hours on. Turns out the director commentary was very helpful. There was a whole lot going on in that movie and the sometimes nauseating ambiguity it turns out, was entirely purposeful.
I have to say that while I did not enjoy the movie really before the commentary, after the commentary, the movie really got me thinking. I’m going to give it a 7 even though without the commentary it would have been a 3. It is brutally difficult to understand, but it turns out there is a pretty good reason for that and to do it any other way may have defeated the purpose behind making the movie. That said, it was hard to watch.
If you’re a film buff and you like weird, experimental movies, this one is worth checking out and then once you do, watch it again with the commentary. Maybe I’m just an idiot and you won’t even need the commentary, but it is worth hearing anyway. If you just can't wait for the next Michael Bay or Jerry Bruckheimer movie, you may want to take a pass on November.
The Machinist.
This movie stars an emaciated Christian Bale as a guy who can’t sleep and pays the price of extended insomnia. Bale (the most recent Batman) is an actor I really like and so I thought I would check this movie out. He starved himself for this role and became freakishly thin, I mean, can see every bone, think he’s going to just break in half, makes Ally McBeal look like Rosanne kind of skinny. It is hard to look at and really the most memorable thing by far about the movie.
Bale plays a guy who can’t sleep and is literally wasting away as a result. To make matters worse he begins to crumble mentally as he can’t tell if he is seeing things or at the center of a conspiracy. The movie leads the audience down the same path of confusion as you wonder what is real and what is imagined while desperately wanting to feed this poor guy. The movie is dark, intense and disturbing. The ending actually fairly well redeems an otherwise unpleasant movie, but I’m not ready to call it “good.” On my scale I think I will give it a 6.5, which doesn’t actually exist on my scale, but it is better than your typical 6, but probably not quite a 7…I think. If you like small, dark psychological thrillers, it is worth renting, but not with children. Take that R rating very seriously.
November
If you watch The Machinist, but decide it was really too light and “normal” for you, check out November. Courtney Cox plays a woman trying to put the pieces together to understand her husband’s shooting in a convenient store robbery.
As an aside, I never got why so many people thought Jennifer Anniston was the “hot one” on friends. She is not even in the same league as Cox. I don’t get this one at all. But anyway…
This movie is one of the most vague, difficult to follow, impressionistic movies I have ever seen (at least that was made by Americans in America). If you get to the end of this movie and understand exactly what is going on, my hat’s off to you, but I sure didn’t get there. That said, the movie was fairly captivating to watch. Visually, it grabs and keeps your attention with changes in color, lighting, lenses, perspective, etc. And it presents just enough of the story to make you really want to know what on earth is going on, or to break the dvd up into little tiny pieces and mail them with a strongly worded letter expressing your displeasure to the director. I sort of felt both at the same time for most of this movie.
The movie is told in 3 acts and when you get to the beginning of the second act, the presented reality is so altered, that you really have nothing but pure speculation to help you figure out what is going on. Then when you move to the 3rd act, you will likely become angry as you realize that even the bits you thought you understood, you really didn’t. It was at this point while I was watching that I was very thankful I had decided to watch this one without my lovely wife Tanya. She wouldn’t have liked this movie even before the final act, but she might have kept watching, because there was something engrossing about it and then she would have become angry and maybe violent and frankly, I couldn’t blame her.
Then the movie ended and I was pretty lost. The ending provides some “real” answers finally, but it doesn’t really help you understand little details like the chronology of the story or even what actually happened. I was so baffled, that I watched the entire movie again with the director’s commentary on, foolishly forfeiting sleep in hopes of finding out what I had just invested the last 2 (and then 4) hours on. Turns out the director commentary was very helpful. There was a whole lot going on in that movie and the sometimes nauseating ambiguity it turns out, was entirely purposeful.
I have to say that while I did not enjoy the movie really before the commentary, after the commentary, the movie really got me thinking. I’m going to give it a 7 even though without the commentary it would have been a 3. It is brutally difficult to understand, but it turns out there is a pretty good reason for that and to do it any other way may have defeated the purpose behind making the movie. That said, it was hard to watch.
If you’re a film buff and you like weird, experimental movies, this one is worth checking out and then once you do, watch it again with the commentary. Maybe I’m just an idiot and you won’t even need the commentary, but it is worth hearing anyway. If you just can't wait for the next Michael Bay or Jerry Bruckheimer movie, you may want to take a pass on November.
Friday, July 14, 2006
Psych
Summer has become the time of new series on cable while the major networks just pretend that people stop wanting to watch decent TV in the summer. The track record has actually been fairly good. Usually there are 3-6 new scripted shows (the only ones I care about. I live reality, I don't need to watch it and pretend it's not scripted), and out of those there have been one or two good ones a year recently and out of those maybe one sticks. Nothing too ambitious, but a better percentage than the networks. Last year I watched the 4400 which is basically X-Men without the fancy suits and gadgets where we're not sure if the mutants are good or bad or both. And of course, there was my favorite Over There which is apparently not coming back.
I have already commented on Blade which I liked well enough to keep watching for now and then last night I watched Psych. What I loved about this show was that it was such a blatant rip off of Monk and was so obvious, that USA basically admits it in some adds it ran showing both Tony Shaloub from Monk and the main guy from Psych. Basically both have the same ability to notice the little things that others don't and reason out what they mean. The only difference is that Monk is a crazy freak and the new guy is an immature brat.
Usually, when a show like Monk catches on, there are some rip offs, but not usually such a close one by the exact same network. Oh well. In some ways it works a bit better than Monk only because the schtick about all of Monk's hangups got tiresome. Psych was not great by any means. but it was decent light, brainless summer watching and I'm going to give it a few more episodes before I decide. For right now, it's a maybe, but if you're looking for something mildly amusing to watch instead of the latest version of American Idol, you could do a lot worse.
I have already commented on Blade which I liked well enough to keep watching for now and then last night I watched Psych. What I loved about this show was that it was such a blatant rip off of Monk and was so obvious, that USA basically admits it in some adds it ran showing both Tony Shaloub from Monk and the main guy from Psych. Basically both have the same ability to notice the little things that others don't and reason out what they mean. The only difference is that Monk is a crazy freak and the new guy is an immature brat.
Usually, when a show like Monk catches on, there are some rip offs, but not usually such a close one by the exact same network. Oh well. In some ways it works a bit better than Monk only because the schtick about all of Monk's hangups got tiresome. Psych was not great by any means. but it was decent light, brainless summer watching and I'm going to give it a few more episodes before I decide. For right now, it's a maybe, but if you're looking for something mildly amusing to watch instead of the latest version of American Idol, you could do a lot worse.
Thursday, July 13, 2006
Blade the Series
I was never a huge comic book guy and never a collector or anything like that, but I have always liked superhero stuff. I enjoyed the comics when I was a kid, I see every movie made from a comic book and often dress in red and blue tights when home bymyse.....ummm....wait, never mind, forget that last part.
So, when a new movie or tv show comes out that is based on a comic book (or "graphic novel" which is what you call it if you are an adult not wishing to admit you read comic books), or comic book character, even if I know it is going to be bad, I will check it out just in case. In truth, TV and Hollywood only get this stuff right maybe 35% of the time, but when they do it is some of my favorite stuff. Superman 1 and 2, both Spidermans, Batman 1 and 2 and the latest "New Beginning", and The Crow (just the original) are all among my favorite movies.
I never read "Blade", but enjoyed the first movie and generally like vampire stories and legends so long as they don't over emphasize the gore. The second and third Blade movies were not worth watching, but I still figured I would check out Spike channel's Blade the series and added it to Tivo. I watched the season premier last night and to my surprise, it was actually pretty decent. Pretty high production value on the look and special effects helps. The big mean black dude from Over There, who may be named "Sticky" plays Blade and did a good job. They are going to need to keep the characters around him with plenty of personality since Blade mostly scowls, growls and fights and little else, but if they can keep from trying to outdo themselves in every episode, they might have a watchable show here.
It is dark and violent and bloody and I just don't have the temperment to watch that all the time, but I'm keeping it on my tivo for now and if you liked the Blade films and have cable, you should check it out.
So, when a new movie or tv show comes out that is based on a comic book (or "graphic novel" which is what you call it if you are an adult not wishing to admit you read comic books), or comic book character, even if I know it is going to be bad, I will check it out just in case. In truth, TV and Hollywood only get this stuff right maybe 35% of the time, but when they do it is some of my favorite stuff. Superman 1 and 2, both Spidermans, Batman 1 and 2 and the latest "New Beginning", and The Crow (just the original) are all among my favorite movies.
I never read "Blade", but enjoyed the first movie and generally like vampire stories and legends so long as they don't over emphasize the gore. The second and third Blade movies were not worth watching, but I still figured I would check out Spike channel's Blade the series and added it to Tivo. I watched the season premier last night and to my surprise, it was actually pretty decent. Pretty high production value on the look and special effects helps. The big mean black dude from Over There, who may be named "Sticky" plays Blade and did a good job. They are going to need to keep the characters around him with plenty of personality since Blade mostly scowls, growls and fights and little else, but if they can keep from trying to outdo themselves in every episode, they might have a watchable show here.
It is dark and violent and bloody and I just don't have the temperment to watch that all the time, but I'm keeping it on my tivo for now and if you liked the Blade films and have cable, you should check it out.
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
10 Things I Think I Think
Just thinking about a few things that I thought I would toss out there with a nod to the excellent Peter King who writes a must-read article called Monday Morning Quarterback for CNN/SI that no football fan should miss during the season. He always includes 10 things he thinks he thinks about football, so here are 10 things I think I think about sports. Also, check my other blogs later for 10 things I think I think about in general and about sports.
1. I think of the movies I have seen lately, but probably won’t have time to review, I think the following: Munich was very good, very well done and very long. Too long. Shave 35 minutes off and you have a great movie. Firewall was complete rubbish. I can’t imagine why Harrison Ford agreed to do that movie. Completely formulaic and predictable. Unleashed was good evidence that Jet Li should stick to fighting and not try acting. Some of the fight scenes were great and the story decent if you ignore the dumptruck sized holes in the plot, but Li’s acting was nearly unbearable. That said, saw the previews for his new kung fu epic and it looks great. Syriana was too slow and to convoluted and too pointless. I don’t know if I just wasn’t following the plot, or not caring about the plot, but either is bad.
2. I think I hate American TV because a truly great comedy like Arrested Development couldn’t catch on while that show with Charlie Sheen is a hit. Ugh. By the way, here’s my list of best (intentional) comedies on TV in order:
a. Curb Your Enthusiasm
b. My Name is Earl
c. The Office
d. Seinfeld reruns
e. I’m Alan Partridge reruns
And that’s it. Let me know if you think I’m missing something here, but I think that’s it. Also, speaking of the Office. I’m so glad, it has managed to survive after the first couple of episodes so lamely copied the vastly superior British version. The American version is dumbed down and is working with about half the talent of the original, but has made itself into a good show worth watching every week. Ordinarily I do not tivo sitcoms because if you miss one, so what, there will be reruns on forever and most of them are so bad, but both My Name is Earl and The Office have joined Seinfeld as the only sitcoms on my tivo.
3. I think I will be the last American to see that Pirate movie. I can tell from the previews that it has no shot at being better than the first one which was, I thought, a 6 out of 10 at best.
4. I think the great and groundbreaking TV show “Over There” must have been canceled and I couldn’t be more disappointed. Very underrated show. Pick it up on DVD.
5. I think there has never been, in the history of movies, an actor who made so many comedies that were not funny and yet maintained such an adoring fan base that think he’s funny as Ben Stiller. I like Stiller, but he has made a lot, I mean a lot of movies that just weren’t that funny. There’s Something About Mary was an instant classic, Zoolander had some funny parts, but dragged mightily, Mystery Men was underrated and funny and that’s really about it since I was too ashamed for Robert DeNiro to enjoy those wildly overrated “Me the…” movies. I mean really, people think he’s awesome, but he’s not a tenth as funny as Will Ferrel, Vince Vaughn, Jack Black or Steve Carrel.
6. I think I don’t understand why, when the LOTR movies were so good and so huge and so profitable, they didn’t immediately start making the Hobbit. Do people in Hollywood not like making money? Is there any other way to explain a movie like Firewall?
7. I think those new theaters with stadium seating and that big aisle that runs across the middle are fantastic and I can’t for the life of me understand why anyone would sit in any row other than the one where you can stretch out in the big aisle and yet those seats are almost always open.
8. I think the things I’m about to start watching in the near future are: Superman Returns, Blade the Series, Psych, Deadwood Season 2, Entourage Season 2, November, The Machinist.
9. I think I’m ready for Woody Allen to make another great movie. I’m sorry, but Match Point was not it. Scarlet is nice, but that movie had not a single likeable character.
10. I think if you are contemplating a TV upgrade, you are insane if you don’t at least consider the possibility of getting a video projector. After doing about 6 months of research on these little gems, I would be happy to assist you if you have any questions. They are just too good and cheap (relatively) to ignore any longer.
1. I think of the movies I have seen lately, but probably won’t have time to review, I think the following: Munich was very good, very well done and very long. Too long. Shave 35 minutes off and you have a great movie. Firewall was complete rubbish. I can’t imagine why Harrison Ford agreed to do that movie. Completely formulaic and predictable. Unleashed was good evidence that Jet Li should stick to fighting and not try acting. Some of the fight scenes were great and the story decent if you ignore the dumptruck sized holes in the plot, but Li’s acting was nearly unbearable. That said, saw the previews for his new kung fu epic and it looks great. Syriana was too slow and to convoluted and too pointless. I don’t know if I just wasn’t following the plot, or not caring about the plot, but either is bad.
2. I think I hate American TV because a truly great comedy like Arrested Development couldn’t catch on while that show with Charlie Sheen is a hit. Ugh. By the way, here’s my list of best (intentional) comedies on TV in order:
a. Curb Your Enthusiasm
b. My Name is Earl
c. The Office
d. Seinfeld reruns
e. I’m Alan Partridge reruns
And that’s it. Let me know if you think I’m missing something here, but I think that’s it. Also, speaking of the Office. I’m so glad, it has managed to survive after the first couple of episodes so lamely copied the vastly superior British version. The American version is dumbed down and is working with about half the talent of the original, but has made itself into a good show worth watching every week. Ordinarily I do not tivo sitcoms because if you miss one, so what, there will be reruns on forever and most of them are so bad, but both My Name is Earl and The Office have joined Seinfeld as the only sitcoms on my tivo.
3. I think I will be the last American to see that Pirate movie. I can tell from the previews that it has no shot at being better than the first one which was, I thought, a 6 out of 10 at best.
4. I think the great and groundbreaking TV show “Over There” must have been canceled and I couldn’t be more disappointed. Very underrated show. Pick it up on DVD.
5. I think there has never been, in the history of movies, an actor who made so many comedies that were not funny and yet maintained such an adoring fan base that think he’s funny as Ben Stiller. I like Stiller, but he has made a lot, I mean a lot of movies that just weren’t that funny. There’s Something About Mary was an instant classic, Zoolander had some funny parts, but dragged mightily, Mystery Men was underrated and funny and that’s really about it since I was too ashamed for Robert DeNiro to enjoy those wildly overrated “Me the…” movies. I mean really, people think he’s awesome, but he’s not a tenth as funny as Will Ferrel, Vince Vaughn, Jack Black or Steve Carrel.
6. I think I don’t understand why, when the LOTR movies were so good and so huge and so profitable, they didn’t immediately start making the Hobbit. Do people in Hollywood not like making money? Is there any other way to explain a movie like Firewall?
7. I think those new theaters with stadium seating and that big aisle that runs across the middle are fantastic and I can’t for the life of me understand why anyone would sit in any row other than the one where you can stretch out in the big aisle and yet those seats are almost always open.
8. I think the things I’m about to start watching in the near future are: Superman Returns, Blade the Series, Psych, Deadwood Season 2, Entourage Season 2, November, The Machinist.
9. I think I’m ready for Woody Allen to make another great movie. I’m sorry, but Match Point was not it. Scarlet is nice, but that movie had not a single likeable character.
10. I think if you are contemplating a TV upgrade, you are insane if you don’t at least consider the possibility of getting a video projector. After doing about 6 months of research on these little gems, I would be happy to assist you if you have any questions. They are just too good and cheap (relatively) to ignore any longer.
Saturday, July 08, 2006
Cars
I sat down to write a review of the latest Pixar offering, Cars, and it started to feel silly for me to be reviewing a movie that couldn’t care less if I liked it. Well, I’m still going forward, but I thought I would solicit some help from the target audience. So, for this review, you are going to get 3 opinions for the price of one….or actually none. My oldest son Gibson, who is 5, going on 35 will offer his opinion in response to my questions and his pal Douglas, who is 3 and a half and undeniably the biggest “Cars” fan on the planet will offer his as well with the interviewing and notetaking help of his Mom Jennifer. I mean, this kid loves this movie more than Cliff Claven and he wouldn’t be working if it weren’t for Pixar.
So, I’m using the same template as usual, but I altered the questions slightly to make them somewhat more kid friendly. What you will get is the unedited words of these two uber critics. To keep from holding you in suspense, let me just say that both Gibson and Griffin loved the movie, and I have to say that I did too. Movies like Cars make me very grateful. Now that I have kids I have been plunged into the world of kids entertainment and let me tell you in all honesty, if Dante were alive today and writing he would make the world of kid’s entertainment one of the levels of Hell and he'd be spot on.
So, when someone actually takes the time to make a kids movie that is also enjoyable for adults like Cars and Finding Nemo and Chicken Run and the Incredibles, it makes me want to find them and kiss them. I don’t however as I fear it would discourage them from making adult friendly kid movies in the future. Plus it’s against the law….and creepy…let’s just move on.
What it’s about: Warning – Gibson’s description of the movie, which I finally cut-off to keep it from being twice as long as the actual movie (like father like son, I guess), contains some spoilers about the story and the end. Douglas keeps you guessing.
Me: Basically, this is the story of Lightening McQueen who is an upstart race car in a world inhabited only by cars (and other motorized vehicles). The cars talk and such and have eyes in the windshield. McQueen finds himself in a small town that was bypassed when the new interstate replaced a section of old Route 66. While trapped in the small town, he makes friends with some small town cars and learns some important life lessons about maturing as a car….and how to effectively navigate a hard turn on a dirt track.
Douglas: ‘Bout Chick bumped Light Nin-Queen off the track (nods head vigorously).Yep.
(Douglas’ Mommy: What else is it about?)
It is ‘bout Chicken Little lost his underwear. (Smiles)
(No really, what else is it about?)
‘Bout how Mater says “Howdy, Howdy.” ‘bout 94 movies. ‘bout Cars. 59 onstereo on the DVD.
(Really?)
(Nods head.) Cars is not on DVD.
Gibson: It’s about cars that are funny and lightening McQueen the red car is the best race car in Cars. The car whose name is “The King” at the very end he got injured ‘cause he broke down. And when he broke down, lightening McQueen came over and brought Tow Mater, the rusty tow truck, and Tow Mater fixed the King and the King is the guy of blue. (I have to point out that Gibson can see that I’m typing his every word so he talks the entire time in this deliberate stilted voice like he’s been giving dictation for 25 years…It cracked me up and even when I pointed it out and told him he could talk normally, he said, “I am, just type. I have more to say”)
He has a really fancy thing sticking up on the back of his car and Tow Mater is Lightening McQueen’s friend and when he lost the race, the boss and lightening McQueen were going to play a race and he lost and so the road was broken because there was a little car and a statue and he broke down of it and he pulled it along on the road so that’s how he broke it and so when he lost the game he…let me think about what I’m going to say…he made him fix the road because he lost and he didn’t do a very good job on the first time but the second time he did a great job. (At this point I asked if he thought we should move on to the next question and he gave me an incredulous look and agreed. Otherwise, I guarantee you he would still be talking…no matter when you are reading this, he would still be going. Trust me).
What’s to like: I asked the boys what their favorite part was and you can see their responses below, as I know full well you are already skipping what I have to say to get to the good stuff. Anyway, I’ll just add that the animation was the best I have ever seen, the story was great. I absolutely loved the tractor tipping scene mentioned below as well as the two Italian cars who sell tires. Really, there was tons they got right, including the cameos by real drivers, the random pop culture references aimed purely at adults (“freebird”). But I will cut myself off to get to what the boys said.
Douglas: Light Nin-Queen
(Mommy: Really?)
Like the big race. Sheriff says (switching to deep voice) “you in heap o’trouble, son.” Mater says “Ray-der Springs. The cutest little town incounterator county.” Mater says
“Just like ta-mater, but without the toe.”
Gibson: My favorite part was when Lightening McQueen and Tow Mater and the tractors on the grass were sleeping and Tow Mater snuck up on them and honked and then one of them tipped over and then the tube that tractors have, they tooted out of their tubes and that is my favorite part (giggling and laughing hysterically…by the way, flatulence is always funny, I mean from birth to death).
What I could have done without:
Me: Had a long section about two-thirds in that was basically just a cartoon music video. Snooze.
Douglas: I like everything.
Gibson: Nothing. It was all great.
Who do you like:
Me: The tire sales guy and his assistant. Especially in the big race. Hilarious.
Douglas: Light Nin-Queen
(Why?)
Because him red. I like red.
(Do you like anyone else?)
Chick is one too.
(Why do you like Chick?)
I don’t.
Gibson: Tow Mater and Lightening McQueen because Tow Mater made the tractors toot and Lightening McQueen won all the races….and I do like races.
What’s new: I didn’t ask the boys this question, so you’re stuck with me on this one. Well, it was about cartoon cars and the eyes weren’t the headlights. Why not? Don’t know, but that was new.
Also, the animation really is amazing. The scenery shots, for the most part, would not have looked odd with real actors walking through and made the whole movie a fun visual experience.
What’s the last word: Just me here too. Ending was great. No complaints. Predictable, but it’s a kids movie. You don’t really want one of those scary, sad, pshycho French Movie endings, now do you?
Who you should bring:
Me: I asked the boys, whether this was a movie they thought Mommies and Daddies (or Grown ups if you prefer) would enjoy, in addition to kids of course. Their answers are below. As for my answer, this is a movie that you will enjoy with your kids. I haven’t so fallen in love with this sort of movie that I would see it without kids. It was good and all, but it was still for kids. If you don’t have kids, find someone who does and take theirs…with permission of course.
Douglas: Grown-ups?
(You know, grown-ups. Like Mommies and Daddies?)
Like my parents? At my house?
(Yes. Would we like the movie?)
Nope.
(Why?)
Because there don’t. That be not very nice. (singing to himself whilesitting in front of Daddy’s computer) I want to look at Car trailers. Lookat car trailers. Look at car trailers. Yeah, yeah yeah. I want to go toCars CD. Cars. Cars.(Did Mommy like this movie?)
My mom? Mmmm, yeah. Her did. Her liked it from the ‘ginning of the racewith Chick and Light Nin-Queen. Reving up in the trailer. “I am speed,”the racecar bellowed to himself, “I am light-nin.” Burst into the crowd.Flashlights went around him and the fans went wild! (all of the last part is“quoting” from a Cars book we have).
Gibson: Kinda, kinda not, or actually let’s just go with a “kinda yes.”
Where you should watch: It’s worth going to the Theater, even though when you do this with a popular kids movie, you are just tacking on one more to the hundreds of times you will end up seeing the movie. Nevertheless, the visuals on this movie make the big screen well worth the price of admission. I asked the boys whether they would rather watch the movie at home or at the theater.
Douglass: At home.
Gibson: Theater because there’s much more room and my favorite part of the theaters is the big giant screen
What’s the couch rating: Gibson would never have let Mommy fall asleep even if she had wanted to and she wouldn’t have in this one anyway.
What my gut tells me: Loved it. I suspect I won’t start hating it until at least the 16th or 17th time I see it and maybe not even then.
What it’s like: It is a lot like the other Pixar films in story, look and feel. In fact the movies are starting to show a formula to their story lines if you look for it…so don’t.
Where it rates: As a movie for kids: 10. They will love it. For adults: 8. I mean it would be higher, but it is a kids movie.
Finally, just for fun, I asked the boys the following question:
Do you think the use of camera angles in animated films that simulate live action cinematography engage the viewer by tapping into previously conceived ideas about how one views something that is real, or do you feel it limits the otherwise limitless boundaries provided by digital technologies?
Me: I find it adds to the experience by drawing you in to the created world.
Douglas: (Sticks out tongue. Ignores me. Tilts his head to one side.) Huh?
Gibson: (smiling like I’m tricking him) Uhhhh….I don’t know what that means.
And there you have it. Special thanks to Gibson, Douglas and Douglas' Mommy and Daddy Tony and Jennifer. Look for future reviews by these two budding prodigy critics in the future. Until then, Gibson says, “I better get my picture on this blog.”
So, I’m using the same template as usual, but I altered the questions slightly to make them somewhat more kid friendly. What you will get is the unedited words of these two uber critics. To keep from holding you in suspense, let me just say that both Gibson and Griffin loved the movie, and I have to say that I did too. Movies like Cars make me very grateful. Now that I have kids I have been plunged into the world of kids entertainment and let me tell you in all honesty, if Dante were alive today and writing he would make the world of kid’s entertainment one of the levels of Hell and he'd be spot on.
So, when someone actually takes the time to make a kids movie that is also enjoyable for adults like Cars and Finding Nemo and Chicken Run and the Incredibles, it makes me want to find them and kiss them. I don’t however as I fear it would discourage them from making adult friendly kid movies in the future. Plus it’s against the law….and creepy…let’s just move on.
What it’s about: Warning – Gibson’s description of the movie, which I finally cut-off to keep it from being twice as long as the actual movie (like father like son, I guess), contains some spoilers about the story and the end. Douglas keeps you guessing.
Me: Basically, this is the story of Lightening McQueen who is an upstart race car in a world inhabited only by cars (and other motorized vehicles). The cars talk and such and have eyes in the windshield. McQueen finds himself in a small town that was bypassed when the new interstate replaced a section of old Route 66. While trapped in the small town, he makes friends with some small town cars and learns some important life lessons about maturing as a car….and how to effectively navigate a hard turn on a dirt track.
Douglas: ‘Bout Chick bumped Light Nin-Queen off the track (nods head vigorously).Yep.
(Douglas’ Mommy: What else is it about?)
It is ‘bout Chicken Little lost his underwear. (Smiles)
(No really, what else is it about?)
‘Bout how Mater says “Howdy, Howdy.” ‘bout 94 movies. ‘bout Cars. 59 onstereo on the DVD.
(Really?)
(Nods head.) Cars is not on DVD.
Gibson: It’s about cars that are funny and lightening McQueen the red car is the best race car in Cars. The car whose name is “The King” at the very end he got injured ‘cause he broke down. And when he broke down, lightening McQueen came over and brought Tow Mater, the rusty tow truck, and Tow Mater fixed the King and the King is the guy of blue. (I have to point out that Gibson can see that I’m typing his every word so he talks the entire time in this deliberate stilted voice like he’s been giving dictation for 25 years…It cracked me up and even when I pointed it out and told him he could talk normally, he said, “I am, just type. I have more to say”)
He has a really fancy thing sticking up on the back of his car and Tow Mater is Lightening McQueen’s friend and when he lost the race, the boss and lightening McQueen were going to play a race and he lost and so the road was broken because there was a little car and a statue and he broke down of it and he pulled it along on the road so that’s how he broke it and so when he lost the game he…let me think about what I’m going to say…he made him fix the road because he lost and he didn’t do a very good job on the first time but the second time he did a great job. (At this point I asked if he thought we should move on to the next question and he gave me an incredulous look and agreed. Otherwise, I guarantee you he would still be talking…no matter when you are reading this, he would still be going. Trust me).
What’s to like: I asked the boys what their favorite part was and you can see their responses below, as I know full well you are already skipping what I have to say to get to the good stuff. Anyway, I’ll just add that the animation was the best I have ever seen, the story was great. I absolutely loved the tractor tipping scene mentioned below as well as the two Italian cars who sell tires. Really, there was tons they got right, including the cameos by real drivers, the random pop culture references aimed purely at adults (“freebird”). But I will cut myself off to get to what the boys said.
Douglas: Light Nin-Queen
(Mommy: Really?)
Like the big race. Sheriff says (switching to deep voice) “you in heap o’trouble, son.” Mater says “Ray-der Springs. The cutest little town incounterator county.” Mater says
“Just like ta-mater, but without the toe.”
Gibson: My favorite part was when Lightening McQueen and Tow Mater and the tractors on the grass were sleeping and Tow Mater snuck up on them and honked and then one of them tipped over and then the tube that tractors have, they tooted out of their tubes and that is my favorite part (giggling and laughing hysterically…by the way, flatulence is always funny, I mean from birth to death).
What I could have done without:
Me: Had a long section about two-thirds in that was basically just a cartoon music video. Snooze.
Douglas: I like everything.
Gibson: Nothing. It was all great.
Who do you like:
Me: The tire sales guy and his assistant. Especially in the big race. Hilarious.
Douglas: Light Nin-Queen
(Why?)
Because him red. I like red.
(Do you like anyone else?)
Chick is one too.
(Why do you like Chick?)
I don’t.
Gibson: Tow Mater and Lightening McQueen because Tow Mater made the tractors toot and Lightening McQueen won all the races….and I do like races.
What’s new: I didn’t ask the boys this question, so you’re stuck with me on this one. Well, it was about cartoon cars and the eyes weren’t the headlights. Why not? Don’t know, but that was new.
Also, the animation really is amazing. The scenery shots, for the most part, would not have looked odd with real actors walking through and made the whole movie a fun visual experience.
What’s the last word: Just me here too. Ending was great. No complaints. Predictable, but it’s a kids movie. You don’t really want one of those scary, sad, pshycho French Movie endings, now do you?
Who you should bring:
Me: I asked the boys, whether this was a movie they thought Mommies and Daddies (or Grown ups if you prefer) would enjoy, in addition to kids of course. Their answers are below. As for my answer, this is a movie that you will enjoy with your kids. I haven’t so fallen in love with this sort of movie that I would see it without kids. It was good and all, but it was still for kids. If you don’t have kids, find someone who does and take theirs…with permission of course.
Douglas: Grown-ups?
(You know, grown-ups. Like Mommies and Daddies?)
Like my parents? At my house?
(Yes. Would we like the movie?)
Nope.
(Why?)
Because there don’t. That be not very nice. (singing to himself whilesitting in front of Daddy’s computer) I want to look at Car trailers. Lookat car trailers. Look at car trailers. Yeah, yeah yeah. I want to go toCars CD. Cars. Cars.(Did Mommy like this movie?)
My mom? Mmmm, yeah. Her did. Her liked it from the ‘ginning of the racewith Chick and Light Nin-Queen. Reving up in the trailer. “I am speed,”the racecar bellowed to himself, “I am light-nin.” Burst into the crowd.Flashlights went around him and the fans went wild! (all of the last part is“quoting” from a Cars book we have).
Gibson: Kinda, kinda not, or actually let’s just go with a “kinda yes.”
Where you should watch: It’s worth going to the Theater, even though when you do this with a popular kids movie, you are just tacking on one more to the hundreds of times you will end up seeing the movie. Nevertheless, the visuals on this movie make the big screen well worth the price of admission. I asked the boys whether they would rather watch the movie at home or at the theater.
Douglass: At home.
Gibson: Theater because there’s much more room and my favorite part of the theaters is the big giant screen
What’s the couch rating: Gibson would never have let Mommy fall asleep even if she had wanted to and she wouldn’t have in this one anyway.
What my gut tells me: Loved it. I suspect I won’t start hating it until at least the 16th or 17th time I see it and maybe not even then.
What it’s like: It is a lot like the other Pixar films in story, look and feel. In fact the movies are starting to show a formula to their story lines if you look for it…so don’t.
Where it rates: As a movie for kids: 10. They will love it. For adults: 8. I mean it would be higher, but it is a kids movie.
Finally, just for fun, I asked the boys the following question:
Do you think the use of camera angles in animated films that simulate live action cinematography engage the viewer by tapping into previously conceived ideas about how one views something that is real, or do you feel it limits the otherwise limitless boundaries provided by digital technologies?
Me: I find it adds to the experience by drawing you in to the created world.
Douglas: (Sticks out tongue. Ignores me. Tilts his head to one side.) Huh?
Gibson: (smiling like I’m tricking him) Uhhhh….I don’t know what that means.
And there you have it. Special thanks to Gibson, Douglas and Douglas' Mommy and Daddy Tony and Jennifer. Look for future reviews by these two budding prodigy critics in the future. Until then, Gibson says, “I better get my picture on this blog.”
Thursday, July 06, 2006
Nacho Libre
Jared Hess (the director of the wildly funny Napoleon Dynamite) and Jack Black (personifies wildly funny) teamed to make Nacho Libre. Can’t miss right? I mean, that is going to be nonstop funny, yes? Ummmm…no. To quote one of the better lines from the movie: “It was a stinky.” Actually, the movie didn’t stink and it led to some mild chuckling, but given the comedic fire power at work here, I expected and just plain wanted more.
Even before I saw this movie, I had heard not to expect much and so with lowered expectations and a carefree attitude that can only be brought on by a Thursday afternoon matinee while on vacation with my best pal in LA, I bought my ticket and looked forward to a couple hours of silliness. What I got was one of the worst accents in the history of Hollywood, some funny wrestling scenes, a really skinny dude and a not quite fat enough dude becoming friends and yet another actress who looks like Penelope Cruz.
What’s that about by the way? First there was Sidney’s sister on Alias and now there’s another one. Is someone cloning Cruz? I know some people think she’s beautiful (I say, call me after you start eating more than 3 meals a week. And by “call me” I of course mean “don’t call me, I’m married, what are you trying to pull here?”), but next time can we vote on who gets cloned? I can only think of about 50 actresses off hand that would be ahead of her on the list. Oh well.
What it’s about: Nacho is an orphan raised by monks? Padres? Priests? ...I’m not really sure, let’s just call them “religious guys in robes” and grows up in this small Mexican orphanage to become one of these religious guys but with much bigger hair. He reluctantly goes about his duties as the orphanage’s cook dreaming of the day when he can pursue his real dreams as his small village's Mexican professional wrestler. See? That already sounds funny right? He hooks up with a really skinny guy off the streets and they begin secretly wrestling at night while maintaining their secret identities as mild-mannered religious guy and skinny street guy by day. Eventually, there is more wrestling and some mildly funny attempts to impress Penelope Cruz 3.
What’s to like: Jack Black’s Mexican/Italian/California accent is so awful, it is funny. Sometimes, he can barely speak English. Other times he speaks with a slight lisp. Often he completely casts aside any attempt to have an accent at all. Seriously, if you can spend the next 2 minutes doing a half-hearted impression of the taco bell dog, you will be doing a better accent than Black. That said, it was perfect for this over the top campy movie. I loved it.
I loved that he tries to woo Cruz the 3rd by bringing her toast in the middle of the night. No, that’s not a euphemism, and there is no explanation as to why someone, Mexican religious guy or otherwise, would try to do this. Good stuff.
The skinny guy was great. He was like all those random characters in Napoleon Dynamite that make every scene awkward, strange and entrancing. His full gum grimace and moaning about his hair being pulled out are some of the funniest things about this movie.
The wrestling scenes, where Black gets to cut loose and be himself are all pretty funny.
Basically Hess recreates the same look and feel he had going in Dynamite. There are the same dramatic exits, strange close ups, unexplained moments of just watching people’s strange faces doing odd things. Everything is perfectly understated. Everything, that is, except Jack Black who just happens to be in every scene and is about as understated as a bright orange Lamborghini.
There was enough comedy in the movie to keep me sort of giggling or snickering through most of it, though never any laugh hard moments, but I wasn’t in pain or bored watching it.
What I could have done without: I hate to say this, but…Jack Black. He often provided some of the funniest parts of the movie just being himself, but he was so over the top and generally inconsistent with the way he approached a scene, it came off as amateurish and lame most of the time. When everyone else was understated and odd, he was loud and melodramatic. Some was funny, but he also sabotaged any chance this movie had of being really funny.
One guy gets randomly stabbed in the eye and it’s sick. It is out of context and doesn’t fit with the movie at all. Very strange and disturbing. Could've done without that.
Those Sprite adds that are trying to be subliminal. I know that’s not in the movie, but they run it over and over before every movie and they consistently make me want to punch someone and that is just no way to start a funny movie.
Stay with me here, but Jack Black wasn’t fat enough. Jack Black is fat. He is not pretty to look at, but they relied heavily on sight gags of him without his shirt and in spandex pants trying to appear sexy or macho. Remember that classic SNL skit with Chris Farley and Patrick Swayze trying out to be Chip ‘n Dale dancers? 75% of the humor in that skit was how fat and gross Farley was. He was huge. He may have eaten Swayze after that skit, which would help explain (along with a definite lack of talent) Swayze’s career disappearing act. Black is fat, but in a sort of typical American who spends too much time on the couch drinking Big Gulps and playing video games sort of way. For the humor to work, he really needed to be fat in a it’s time to intervene before he explodes right in front of us kind of way.
I could have used some more funny in this movie. Like maybe 3 times as much. Just nothing really clever and agonizingly long stretches between anything funny. It was like everyone just stood back and said, “hey Jack, be funny now.” And then probably stood around saying, “that doesn’t seem funny, but it’s Jack Black, it must be funny, …right? Right?”
Sadly, it just wasn’t.
Who do you like: The skinny guy is great. Seriously, I wish he had been the main character. I could have watched him do nothing but grimace and look pained for an hour and a half and I would have been happy. Let’s hope we see him in more.
What’s new: The skinny guy was new. Nothing else of note.
What’s the last word: The ending was actually really good. I don’t think I’m giving anything away here by saying there is a wrestling scene prominently involved and it is so ridiculous it is funny. One of the best scenes in the movie, so at least it went out with a bang.
Who you should bring: People whose reality has already been altered with the help of pharmecuticals. If this movie is going to be funny at all it will only be to people who worship Jack Black and who are 16-35 and probably male. I don’t know why women would like this movie and wouldn’t expect men to like it all that much. Don’t go looking for your buddy who loved Napolean Dynamite or School of Rock, because they will only be disappointed. Instead, find your friend who just laughs every few minutes for no apparent reason.
Where you should watch: No need for a big screen. The visuals were interesting at times, but you can wait until this one comes out on cable.
What’s the couch rating: Tanya would have been in REM sleep before the opening credits ended. One shot of Jack Black in that hideous hair and belly and she would have closed her eyes not to reopen them until I was taking her off to bed with her asking me in a dazed stupor, “why did you choose that movie?”
What my gut tells me: I didn’t hate it. I wasn’t angry I had watched it, but I only spent about 3 minutes quoting back diologue and referencing scenes after the movie which is about 4 years less than I do with a good comedy. I guess that last sentence should also serve as a warning in case you ever spend time around me.
What it’s like: Napolean Dynamite except that Napoleon is played by Jim Carey and nothing really funny happens.
Where it rates: 5. Maybe the perfect 5.
Even before I saw this movie, I had heard not to expect much and so with lowered expectations and a carefree attitude that can only be brought on by a Thursday afternoon matinee while on vacation with my best pal in LA, I bought my ticket and looked forward to a couple hours of silliness. What I got was one of the worst accents in the history of Hollywood, some funny wrestling scenes, a really skinny dude and a not quite fat enough dude becoming friends and yet another actress who looks like Penelope Cruz.
What’s that about by the way? First there was Sidney’s sister on Alias and now there’s another one. Is someone cloning Cruz? I know some people think she’s beautiful (I say, call me after you start eating more than 3 meals a week. And by “call me” I of course mean “don’t call me, I’m married, what are you trying to pull here?”), but next time can we vote on who gets cloned? I can only think of about 50 actresses off hand that would be ahead of her on the list. Oh well.
What it’s about: Nacho is an orphan raised by monks? Padres? Priests? ...I’m not really sure, let’s just call them “religious guys in robes” and grows up in this small Mexican orphanage to become one of these religious guys but with much bigger hair. He reluctantly goes about his duties as the orphanage’s cook dreaming of the day when he can pursue his real dreams as his small village's Mexican professional wrestler. See? That already sounds funny right? He hooks up with a really skinny guy off the streets and they begin secretly wrestling at night while maintaining their secret identities as mild-mannered religious guy and skinny street guy by day. Eventually, there is more wrestling and some mildly funny attempts to impress Penelope Cruz 3.
What’s to like: Jack Black’s Mexican/Italian/California accent is so awful, it is funny. Sometimes, he can barely speak English. Other times he speaks with a slight lisp. Often he completely casts aside any attempt to have an accent at all. Seriously, if you can spend the next 2 minutes doing a half-hearted impression of the taco bell dog, you will be doing a better accent than Black. That said, it was perfect for this over the top campy movie. I loved it.
I loved that he tries to woo Cruz the 3rd by bringing her toast in the middle of the night. No, that’s not a euphemism, and there is no explanation as to why someone, Mexican religious guy or otherwise, would try to do this. Good stuff.
The skinny guy was great. He was like all those random characters in Napoleon Dynamite that make every scene awkward, strange and entrancing. His full gum grimace and moaning about his hair being pulled out are some of the funniest things about this movie.
The wrestling scenes, where Black gets to cut loose and be himself are all pretty funny.
Basically Hess recreates the same look and feel he had going in Dynamite. There are the same dramatic exits, strange close ups, unexplained moments of just watching people’s strange faces doing odd things. Everything is perfectly understated. Everything, that is, except Jack Black who just happens to be in every scene and is about as understated as a bright orange Lamborghini.
There was enough comedy in the movie to keep me sort of giggling or snickering through most of it, though never any laugh hard moments, but I wasn’t in pain or bored watching it.
What I could have done without: I hate to say this, but…Jack Black. He often provided some of the funniest parts of the movie just being himself, but he was so over the top and generally inconsistent with the way he approached a scene, it came off as amateurish and lame most of the time. When everyone else was understated and odd, he was loud and melodramatic. Some was funny, but he also sabotaged any chance this movie had of being really funny.
One guy gets randomly stabbed in the eye and it’s sick. It is out of context and doesn’t fit with the movie at all. Very strange and disturbing. Could've done without that.
Those Sprite adds that are trying to be subliminal. I know that’s not in the movie, but they run it over and over before every movie and they consistently make me want to punch someone and that is just no way to start a funny movie.
Stay with me here, but Jack Black wasn’t fat enough. Jack Black is fat. He is not pretty to look at, but they relied heavily on sight gags of him without his shirt and in spandex pants trying to appear sexy or macho. Remember that classic SNL skit with Chris Farley and Patrick Swayze trying out to be Chip ‘n Dale dancers? 75% of the humor in that skit was how fat and gross Farley was. He was huge. He may have eaten Swayze after that skit, which would help explain (along with a definite lack of talent) Swayze’s career disappearing act. Black is fat, but in a sort of typical American who spends too much time on the couch drinking Big Gulps and playing video games sort of way. For the humor to work, he really needed to be fat in a it’s time to intervene before he explodes right in front of us kind of way.
I could have used some more funny in this movie. Like maybe 3 times as much. Just nothing really clever and agonizingly long stretches between anything funny. It was like everyone just stood back and said, “hey Jack, be funny now.” And then probably stood around saying, “that doesn’t seem funny, but it’s Jack Black, it must be funny, …right? Right?”
Sadly, it just wasn’t.
Who do you like: The skinny guy is great. Seriously, I wish he had been the main character. I could have watched him do nothing but grimace and look pained for an hour and a half and I would have been happy. Let’s hope we see him in more.
What’s new: The skinny guy was new. Nothing else of note.
What’s the last word: The ending was actually really good. I don’t think I’m giving anything away here by saying there is a wrestling scene prominently involved and it is so ridiculous it is funny. One of the best scenes in the movie, so at least it went out with a bang.
Who you should bring: People whose reality has already been altered with the help of pharmecuticals. If this movie is going to be funny at all it will only be to people who worship Jack Black and who are 16-35 and probably male. I don’t know why women would like this movie and wouldn’t expect men to like it all that much. Don’t go looking for your buddy who loved Napolean Dynamite or School of Rock, because they will only be disappointed. Instead, find your friend who just laughs every few minutes for no apparent reason.
Where you should watch: No need for a big screen. The visuals were interesting at times, but you can wait until this one comes out on cable.
What’s the couch rating: Tanya would have been in REM sleep before the opening credits ended. One shot of Jack Black in that hideous hair and belly and she would have closed her eyes not to reopen them until I was taking her off to bed with her asking me in a dazed stupor, “why did you choose that movie?”
What my gut tells me: I didn’t hate it. I wasn’t angry I had watched it, but I only spent about 3 minutes quoting back diologue and referencing scenes after the movie which is about 4 years less than I do with a good comedy. I guess that last sentence should also serve as a warning in case you ever spend time around me.
What it’s like: Napolean Dynamite except that Napoleon is played by Jim Carey and nothing really funny happens.
Where it rates: 5. Maybe the perfect 5.
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